Differential diagnosis, personality styles and how to handle and maneuvre those styles in therapy room are among my top areas of focus. On top of that vulnerable narcissism and avoidant personality style are our hot topic with my younger supervisees for a long while.
Thus lets lift the veil on those two styles that have a high-up likelihood of confusion.
People with avoidant personality style are intolerable of social situations where they can be judged or evaluated. They are very sensitive of any kind of social rejection. Looking foolish or being humiliated is torturous to them. So they hold themselves back with this chronic handicapping fear of being rejected and they end up meeting only with people who won’t reject them for sure. At the last, they get stuck in a small, dry, not so inspiring social circle. They are manipulable and inclined to self-blaming to the end. As an aside, introversion is not avoidant personality style. Introvert people enjoy occasions of solitude but when it requires they don’t hold back.
People with vulnerable narcissistic configuration are similarly sensitive to criticism. Yes, vulnerable narcissist is extremely sensitive to others’ reactions and constantly tries to avoid rejection and embarrassment through preventive and self-silencing behaviours.
Meanwhile they have also an antagonistic core as they are narcissistic eventhough vulnerable phenotype. They are passive aggressive rage, lapses in empathy, entitlement surrounding this antagonistic ambiance.
When an avoidant person perceives criticism, she or he simply isolates and self-silences more. No hatred contempt comes to play.
When it cames to vulnerable narcissism, the game differs. A vulnerable narcissist may be expected to lash out, attack back angrily, to be extravagant in victimhood, get lost in passive aggressive rage.
While working with individuals, I think that obsessing over the right starting point namely diagnosis is cardinal as different (also pairing in different levels) personality or mental health struggles require different therapeutic help. In addition, the correct diagnosis will allow the correct measure and communication of the concept across different spheres such as empirical and clinical spheres, laypersons.
All very well but how, we, clinicians should address those personality styles in our clinics? Briefly, w emay address avoidant personality struggles via cognitive behavioral techniques, practicing on social skills, group therapies and tracing back to the root causes. On the other hand, narcissistic people would be much more resistent to address their long-established defensive motifs. Especially, we should address the lack of empathy in early relationships and the fixation on victimhood. We should restaure empathy towards others and themselves.
How about the puzzling pairing of vulnerable narcissism and avoidant personality style?
We should work with all those issues: passive aggressive defenses, contemptuousness, victimized entitlement, socially paralizing patterns…
Good luck!
To all variatons of being human!